Ode To Uncle Billy

At this time of the year…I think you know the movie “It’s A Wonderful Life is shown on television.  Millions of people can remember the heartwarming tale of George Bailey and the crisis that got him to appreciate his life.  Also to meet a friendly angel named Clarence.

We have seen it so many times.  The money is lost.  Uncle Billy did something…..then the panic ensues.  Christmas will not be so great this year.  George might go to jail.  Zuzu has a cold.

Did you ever think about Uncle Billy?  If he had not absentmindedly stuck that money in the newspaper and given it away to old cranky Mr. Potter—there would be no story.

It’s easy to say…what an old fool.  But I think everyone has had an Uncle Billy moment. You put something down and then……….. But what is even worst is that Old Man Potter had been sticking it to the Bailey family for years.   Finally when Uncle Billy feels proud of Hero Harry in the newspaper and asserts himself back at Potter….then the disaster strikes.   So Uncle Billy felt good for a two whole minutes.

Then he discovered he had lost the money.  This is for all the Uncle Billy’s out there.  Enjoy those two minutes!

©2020 Sally J/Craftvamp







Not A Crook…You Varmit

I know times have changed.  Going shopping is not the fun relaxed experience it once was.  Crime has made stores more on the alert to thieves.

But just for a moment….imagine how it is today.  You get ready to pay the cashier.

Yes that young high school kid or the energetic senior citizen.  You hold out your bill and hand it into those waiting hands.  It’s that simple—right?  Wrong!

The cashier looks it over like a fine piece of art.  Holds it up to the light.  Crackles it.  Takes out a pen and scribbles on it.  Does it again.  Repeat steps 1 and 2.

You feel tempted to say….Hey I am not a crook.  Was that a siren going off?

Do not say (resist the urge though tempting)—hey I just made it today.

It’s not the wild west and I don’t have a bandanna on my face partner.  Just take the ####???!!!! bill.

So finally it is put into the register and you get your change.

One time in the near future—I think when they give me a bill.  I will take out my counterfeit bill detector pen and use it on the bill or bills they give me in return.

Just think about it?  How do we know the bills you are given in return are all right?

So—pardon me partner—-my horse is parked outside and I have to make my get away!

©2019–Craftvamp–Sally J




When $7 Dollars Is Really $7

Recently I went to one of the large chain stores that begins with W.  They always advertise low prices and state they are going lower.  Also they emphasize friendliness to customers.

In the Ladies Department was a table with very nice printed fleece tops.  Each one had a design and was very soft.  I noticed the big sign on the table and it was $7.00.  So these nice tops were supposed to be priced at $7.00.  The original price was $9.99.

I choose a nice mint green one with metallic unicorns on it.  Before I went to the check out….I went to the price checking machine and checked all the prices of what I was buying in the shopping cart.  Yes…this fleece top was $7.00.

When I went to the cashier, she rang up most of my items.  When she came to the fleece top…..she looked at it.  I said it is $7.00 because it was on the $7.00 counter.

She said to me…just because something was on the $7.00 table doesn’t mean it is $7.00.

Okay…..so….what does this reasoning mean?   When the price rang up—$7.00—her theory did not hold up.

©2019 Craftvamp-Sally J




Bagless Or Mindless

Who ever invented the bagless vacuum cleaner?  I just have one question for you…..WHY?

Obviously you have never vacuumed or cleaned a room.  You go around vacuuming the floor, wall, ceilings and then the  dirt cup is full.

So you open it and shake it into the bag.  All the dust, particles, debris goes into a garbage bag and into the air.  You breathe in this garbage and it makes a terrible mess.  You feel gritty and like a dog that needs a bath.

Why is this better than a bag you put into the machine and when full –take it out and put the whole thing into a garbage bag.  NO DIRT BATH FOR YOU!

All the promoters of this act like mindless idiots.  No bags—so easy.  Really —ever choke and cough when using this bagless  invention?

© 2019 Craftvamp–Sally J




What’s Your Worth In Meat?

Some time ago, a comic strip featured a family getting ready for a barbecue in their backyard.  The child asked when the guests were  gathered…Are these the people we bought the steaks for or are these the ones for the hamburgers?

So can you imagine some of use are valued in the cut of meat that people want to serve us?  Are you a steak person or hamburger?  I don’t mind hamburgers.

What about our vegan friends?  They long ago decided this nonsense is not worth it.  Besides having a cruelty free diet, they are thought of differently.

If you go to someone’s house—do you place a value on what if any thing they give you to  eat?

©Craftvamp–Sally J




Paperless Or Powerless?

I know we are in a new age….what should we call it?
The re-use or re-recycle era? The electronic rules universe?
What I am mainly referring to—is the way the websites and stores are
supposedly cutting down on paper waste by using email to communicate.

All right—they ask before you leave the check out–do you want the receipt emailed or printed? You are given a choice.
But they never tell you that be prepared to have you email box overflowed with
endless communications from them.
You get a rundown of what you bought—what you might like to buy just like what you bought. Add to that additional items that could go with what you bought. Then to add to the mix—here are some things like what you bought that other customers have purchased and liked.

So to put it in a capsulized version—you are going to be stuffed with more advertisements than a turkey at Thanksgiving.
Why—does anyone see the irony in this?

©2018 Craftvamp–Sally J